devils' colors

Today was a more positive day than what we've been having lately, mostly because we had one of our favorite therapy activities: ceramics!

Other than that, we played Animal Crossing and continued working on what hopefully will be the Colors TCG page on our website. The weather's nice too, which is a welcome change.

Therapy happenings & a rant

We're currently working on various different things, mostly figurines. This time, we started coloring a bowl we sculpted a few weeks back. Our last colored pieces turned out quite bad (we've yet to fix them too) because we applied too much pigment, and our supervisor told us we did a better job this time. Let's hope that thing turns out alright, I'm really excited to see it done and show it off if it does.

To be real with you, artistic activities are our favorites (for... fairly obvious reasons if you already know us). The supervisors are super cool too.

The only complaint we have about them has nothing to do with the activities or supervisors though. It all has to do with a fellow patient, who drives us (especially Al) up the fucking wall.

To be clear, it has nothing to do with whatever she has. Plenty of people there have severe disabilities which make it harder for them to understand what is being said and/or fulfill tasks correctly. Her behavior, which mainly consists of disregarding or not listening to advice, lacking independence to do anything by herself or the motivation to ask for help, is maddening mainly because we don't see anyone else display it the way she does.

Without giving too much information, she is not there because her disability makes her act that way. She is a bit slow on the uptake, sure, but it's not because she's mentally challenged (as far as we know anyways). She needs a lot of help from our supervisors, but when she finishes something, it's often not bad at all. Even if part of the work was done by someone else, her part's well-done.

The real issue lies on the fact that everything has to be done her way and that she refuses to listen to advice from more experienced people. A good example was when she was told she couldn't sculpt each individual finger on a small figurine's hand because they would break in the oven, to which she insisted for about 10 minutes that the fingers had to be done even when the supervisor or even ourselves suggested alternatives that wouldn't break.

I dunno. She's just really frustrating to be around. The first time we met she assumed we were a chick and insisted we were one even when we and everyone else in the room kept correcting her. We don't mind if people assume wrongly or even forget our pronouns, but Jesus Christ. At least be polite.

A thing to look forward to

With that done and over with, on to something that doesn't annoy us.

Tomorrow we have a sexology (for the uninformed, that's basically psychiatry and gender therapy merged together in this case) appointment. We're looking forward to it because besides getting us closer to getting HRT and top surgery, we can also talk about the mess that is our headspace right now.

We've been processing a lot of trauma in a less-than-ideal way and our anti-depressants just... stopped working, I guess. Anyways, we'll talk about it and maybe get an appointment with a more generalized psychiatrist.

Admittedly, we're not very good at explaining what goes on in our headspace. Last time we did that, our doctor assumed we were already diagnosed with DID too, so... we should probably clarify that we just have a schizophrenia diagnosis. For now, anyways.